An Egalitarian System for Chores That Creates Less Fighting
It’s never an excuse to say, “Women are just better at that.”
My buddy Brian’s marriage was on the rocks and it was abundantly obvious. I’d thought nothing of coming over to hang out that evening, not realizing I’d be stepping into a war of the roses.
We sat on the couch, talking about work and life. But I kept hearing plates clanging in the kitchen after dinner, his wife seeming frustrated and making it a point to let Brian know. As I was passing moments later, I leaned into the kitchen and asked, “Can I help?”
She looked visibly irritated, but forced a smile, “No! I’ve got it. Thanks!”
And sure enough, went back to the clanging. My spouse and her were also friends, and I eventually learned what was evident that night: Brian wasn’t helping on many fronts — with kids, with chores, and maintaining the house. His work ethic and success at his job weren’t translating well at home.
Sadly, this is a common dynamic that undercuts many relationships. Since the mass arrival of women into the workforce in the 20th century, and converging of pay scales, home life has been rife with conflict because women still carry a majority of the household chores. Specifically, women tend to take on five more hours of unpaid…
