Finally, I think there’s a gender bias to the idea of being “picky.” Sometimes men have the attitude that they “deserve” the object of their affection, and if they’re rejected, their ego gets caught up and they feel there must be something wrong with the woman’s preferences. By contrast, I’ve rarely, if ever, heard friends shame a man for going on a few dates with a woman a…
And I’ll totally concede this. As a man, we are often tasked with being initiators and facing the resulting yes or no response. This can lead to hurt feelings and egos. We’ll end up contrasting ourselves with the guys those chose instead. As humans, we are all sensitive little creatures, prone to being a bit butthurt :)
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve placed less emphasis on looks. They are still important. The attraction is a must. But it’s a trap to not give significance to other things too. I’ve been a lot happier since I started selecting for things that mattered a lot to me (intelligence, sense of humor, laid back).