Bonus story:

Diogenes was on his back, in shackles, at the bottom of a pirate’s ship.

He and the other prisoners were bound for a slave market. The pirates walked down the line, inspecting each prisoner, assessing them for their worth, either through sale or ransom.

When they got to Diogenes, they asked him, “What is your talent?”

Diogenes replied, “I am a master of men.”

The pirates looked at each other. Diogenes appeared little more than a beggar. The pirates said, “So what should we do with you?”

Diogenes replied, “Find a man who needs a master. Then, sell me to him.”