Self
Bridging the Gaps of Competency
An underdog’s approach to systematic improvement of the skills you care about.
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Sarah sighed into the phone, “I struggled to fit the mold.” The heavy weight of unmet expectations still hung on her. She was my new ghostwriting writing client, a beautiful 50-year-old woman who is quite successful, but who’d spent her life as an underdog. She spoke of the pains of having strict parents, who’d fled a bloody revolution in China, and brought high standards with them.
She’d worked hard in school but still brought home Cs, and the occasional B if she was lucky. It stood in painful contrast to her whiz-kid brother, who attended Yale and became a renowned heart surgeon. Yet today, Sarah is one of the country’s most skilled and effective executive recruiters, running a booming agency that’s bursting at the seams with new business. She has become a sought after and highly paid expert in her field.
All of this despite her parents worrying she’d ever make anything of herself. In the ensuing months, I asked her many questions about how she did it. Notably, she said, “I’m not afraid to work hard and learn. I know my limits. If I’m in over my head with something, I get someone smarter. I don’t have an ego about getting help.” Her success became a triumphant middle finger at all the bad report cards.
Though I lack her level of success, part of me related to her. I write for a living but had miserable experiences in high school English. After going to three high schools because of military moves, and having to read the same Jane Austen books on repeat, I lost all spirit and enthusiasm for the subject.
I groaned as my teacher set graded essays face-down on my desk. Faded red ink shined through, begging me to flip the paper over and smell the napalm. My teacher was a grey haired crank, a stickler for the rules, with a deep and preoccupying hatred for creative interpretation of said rules. His name even sounded strict: Mr. Sturgill. My one proud moment in his class was a final essay, “How to Fly a Kite” which he gave me an A- on, not realizing I was telling him to go fly a kite.
With my writing students, and even readers, I see a common curiosity and eagerness to improve and grow at…
