Rise of The Sleep Divorce

Do relationships improve if we sleep in separate beds?

Sean Kernan
5 min readMay 15, 2024

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Pexels Images Ivan Oboleninov

I woke up to a jolt, feeling like I was on a ship that just got slammed by a wave. I sat up in a sweat, wondering what happened, or if there was a break-in attempt. Then I heard a hiss next to me, “Stop!”

In the haze of sleep and darkness, I said, “Huh?” I was utterly confused.

It was my spouse, Laura. Then, she hissed, “Stop it! You are breathing right into my ear! And you are on my half of the bed!”

At least once a week, our otherwise great relationship has a frustrating night like this, where one of us, or I should say, Laura, wakes up from my loud breathing into her ear, my throat “clicking” or good old fashioned snoring. I suppose I sleep like a grizzly, and it does interrupt both of our sleep.

In the 19th century, doctors advised that couples sleep in separate beds. And it was common for spouses to have two twin beds in the same room next to each other. It began for superstitious reasons, about one person’s health and vitality being impeded upon by the other, but then evolved into a more scientific understanding of sleep quality. A tradition of sleeping in separate beds continued until the 1950s for many, until we returned to the long established practice of sharing the bedroom.

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Sean Kernan

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