What Goes Through My Mind When Someone Insults Me
This is what does or doesn’t happen.
Mike turns to me and laughs, “Bro, you are really stupid.”
Time stops. Mike freezes in place.
Tendrils of inky black darkness emerge and begin swirling around me.
The air grows tense and vibrates.
The ground rumbles and everything shakes.
Splintering webs of cracks shoot across the shaking ground. And out of the crumbling earth, sand cascading down their scaled arms and shoulders, emerge three demonic horrors with glowing red eyes.
They stretch their talons and wings, shaking the earth off of them. They surround Mike, frozen in time. In unison they look towards me, beckoning for the order.
Let us drink from his skull, lord master. We will bathe his soul in our hellfire.
I stare at the perpetrator, Mike, my so-called friend.
Let us throw him into the River of Fire Ants.
I turn my head sideways, tapping my fingers on my chin, contemplating his eternal fate.
“How about we force him to watch Lala Land, once?”
Is it not too cruel, Lord Master?
“True. The River of Fire Ants it is.”
I begin laughing as all three demons move forward to grab him.
A bright light explodes in the room.
A white woman appears above us. My demons howl and evaporate into dust. Her light blinds me. My skin begins to burn. I fall to the ground, writhing in pain.
“Who are you!?”
She stares at me. “I am Lady Moderation. Tell them what you actually do when someone insults you.”
The light burns brighter around her. The agony intensifies. My skin sears with bubbling sores.
She booms, “Tell them the truth, Sir Kernan. Your arrogance will destroy you.”
The light burns even brighter.
Writhing on the ground I scream, “Nothing! I get my feelings hurt and whine like a little baby! Ahhh! Make it stop! make it stop!”
Still on the ground, I open my eyes.
Mike is standing over me. “Dude are you OK? I was joking.”