Humor

What Would a Day As Me Feel Like?

A hypothetical scenario on a day in the life of a humble writer.

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Questions are a big part of my writing strategy. I often use them to build out longer pieces.

So let’s play a game. In a hypothetical scenario, let’s say you woke up as me. What would your day be like?

You’d wake up in a bit of a haze. You aren’t much of a morning person. So the room would look a little blurry at first.

You’ll need to pee. If you’ve never stood while peeing, just sit down. It’s harder than it looks, no pun intended, and I can’t teach you in one go around.

You’ll need to brush your teeth, please. I hate bad breath and refuse to be part of the problem.

I’m tall so the ceiling will probably feel lower. You’ll be able to reach up and touch it with both hands. Everything is normal so don’t panic. Feel free to tap the ceiling. It’s kinda fun.

If you need to go anywhere, take the white car in the driveway. We drive on the right side of the road here. If you can’t drive, use my phone to uber.

Also, remember to put on clothes before leaving, ideally men’s clothes. I haven’t moved to a nudist colony yet.