What Would a Day As Me Feel Like?
A hypothetical scenario on a day in the life of a humble writer.
Questions are a big part of my writing strategy. I often use them to build out longer pieces.
So let’s play a game. In a hypothetical scenario, let’s say you woke up as me. What would your day be like?
You’d wake up in a bit of a haze. You aren’t much of a morning person. So the room would look a little blurry at first.
You’ll need to pee. If you’ve never stood while peeing, just sit down. It’s harder than it looks, no pun intended, and I can’t teach you in one go around.
You’ll need to brush your teeth, please. I hate bad breath and refuse to be part of the problem.
I’m tall so the ceiling will probably feel lower. You’ll be able to reach up and touch it with both hands. Everything is normal so don’t panic. Feel free to tap the ceiling. It’s kinda fun.
If you need to go anywhere, take the white car in the driveway. We drive on the right side of the road here. If you can’t drive, use my phone to uber.
Also, remember to put on clothes before leaving, ideally men’s clothes. I haven’t moved to a nudist colony yet.
The neighbors will probably say hello and wave. Your name is Sean btw. Just smile and wave back.
There’s a lot of white people. If you aren’t used to white people, don’t panic. They don’t bite. It’ll all be ok.
I’ll need you to get some writing done so use the desk in my home office. If any clients call you just say, “Can I get back to you? I don’t want to give you an answer until I know for sure.”
Just get through the day without getting me fired by any clients, please.
I have a lot of followers on social media. There’s a lot of power in those apps. Don’t write anything stupid, please.
But I suppose you can write a post somewhere asking everyone to follow your account. I’d probably do the same thing in your situation.
At some point, you may hear a knock on the front door. Just yell, “Come in!”
If nobody does, go to the door.
But more than likely a tall attractive brunette woman will come walking in.
If she tells you a story or starts talking about something we were already talking about just play along.
Just intermittently say, “Uh..oh wow..that’s crazy.” and that should suffice.
Also, she’s probably going to be handsy and want to kiss. I suppose you can kiss her back (as me).
That makes me wonder. Hmm. One second.
It is approved.
Tear that ass up :P