Why We Tend to Have Stronger Maternal Family Ties
Taking paternity leave can help bridge the divide between families.
My grandfather, Marvin, was big, gruff and tough. But he was also loving old man who could be quite playful. He used to sit in a giant lazy boy chair in the middle of his living room. He’d look at me as a boy and say, “You mess with me and you gonna get these.” And proceeded to flex both arms.
Then he held one fist up and said, “Seven days in the hospital.” Then he held up his other fist and said, “Death.” Which made me laugh. It didn’t matter that his jokes were so edgy. The most important thing was that he was actually present.
My maternal family’s involvement far outweighed that of my paternal side, with me spending entire summers with my grandparents and seeing my only uncle several times a year. This maternal bias wasn’t malicious, but it is common, encompassing what many of you experienced as well, especially if you live in the US or Europe (though it is slightly less pronounced in Europe).
The matrilineal advantage isn’t often written about. So what is it that drives these connections? And is it problematic? It turns out that one solution might involve paternal leave.
